Next Job & Next Week

Up this weekend on the honey-do list is mounting the new LCD TV in the kitchen. Jeff has been enrolled to come down and suffer through many bottles of wine while we tackle what should be a fast and easy job. Jodi is on Hospital call this weekend, which means she may be home in an hour or gone all day. This makes weekend planning a little difficult; but we have become very good at making any plans rather vague.

Next weekend she is leaving to see her friend in Seattle for a week. They have been best friends for longer than Jeff and I have been, which is a long time. She deserves her week away from me and the household, but will be sorely missed none the less. It seems like we are still in the habit of taking separate vacations. This was a fact of life for us for 4 years while we had a disabled dog named Hudson that required 24 hour-a-day care. There simply wasn't anybody (except Jeff and occasionally Dick) that we felt we could ask to take care of her. It was just too big of a job to ask anyone to do. There was one specialized kennel in the Twin Cities that would take her, but the bills ran about $800 for a week. We finally just realized it was cheaper and easier for one of us to stay home. It was a labor of love while it lasted, but we lost her last summer. So out of the frying pan and into the fire...We got a puppy soon after.

Now guess what keeps us home. Hint: she is now 65 pounds of silky black mischief, composed of pure energy, and hell bent on the destruction of shoes and our cat. Her name is Macy Mae...And her title is Queen of the House.

P.S. I'm planning to create a page in tribute to Hudson. Check back under the "my pages" section soon.

(Update: The spot on Hudson is now complete except for a few photos I plan on adding. Click on "Hudson's Page" under the my pages section and get ready to shed a few tears.)

When things work.

Is it not one of life's most fulfilling moments when a plan actually comes together as expected? Jefe and I finished up the cellar on Sunday with nary a hitch. No major problems occurred, and things that we had planned for months in advance went so smoothly it was shocking.

We did the following:

1. Mounted the evaporator unit on the ceiling.
2. Installed the track lighting.
3. Installed the custom Andersen sliding glass door.
4. Trimmed the remaining racking kits for fit.

This does not sound like much, but it took us from 8AM to 5PM to do it. Jefe has some trim and caulking work left, but the space is essentially finished. I will post some pictures when I get them.

30 Questions

Seems as though this trend is a prerequisite for having a blog. Here's my homemade one, so you might get to know me better.

Physical

1. Age? -37
2. Height? -5'11"
3. Innie or Outie? -Innie
4. Boxers or Briefs? -Briefs
5. Skinny or Fat? -Portly
6. Disgusted by the mental picture of #4 & #5? -Yes, and I own it.
7. Hair Color? -Christ..Enough already. Look at my profile.
8. Sink or Swim? -Swim...But I did enjoy being in the sink as an infant.

Intelligence

8. I.Q.? -141 (has not been measured in a while, so it may have atrophied)
9. Education? -B.S. in Business Administration, M.S. in BS, PhD. Applied Failure.
10. Experience? -I'm sick with experience...Nearly incapacitated really.
11. Dumb or Dumber? -I'll stick with dumber...His experience was a lot more varied.

Personality

12. Victim or Perpetrator? -I piss on both of these cockroaches in equal volume.
13. Type A personality? -No...But they do clean houses very well.
14. Lazy or O.C.D. ridden? -Got to plead the 5th here. I am O.C. about being lazy.
15. Geek or Jock? -A geek who wore an occasional jock, but never on his head.
16. Naughty or Nice? -Nice. Naughty never pays unless you own an STD Clinic.
17. Leather or Lace? -Depends on #16
18. Rutabaga or Cabbage? -Fuck me, now that's a silly question 'aint it?
19. Democrat or Republican? -See #12
20. "Life of Brian" or "Meaning of Life"? -"Life of Brian" by a long shot.

Morals

21. You've come upon an accident where there is both a child and an elderly person injured. Only one may be saved, and you must decide which one. Which do you choose? -The question is irrelevant because I was not the first on the scene, so therefore I was not obligated to stop.

22. (Censored)


Useless info that nobody gives a stinking rat's ass about (but apparently goes over quite well in the South).

23. Favorite Color? -Blue
24. Favorite Music? -Alternative Indy Prog Rock
25. Favorite Beer? -Labatt's Blue (it's just a coincidence)
26. Favorite portrayal of Native American hand to hand fighting techniques in a movie? -Mel Gibson in "The Patriot"
27. Favorite portrayal of redneck fighting techniques in a movie? -Deliverance
28. Favorite saying indicating a conversation is over? -Now..Fuck off!
29. Favorite undiagnosed medical syndrome from which I believe I might suffer?-Asperger's Syndrome (very mild case).
30. Favorite way to satirically show how meaningless some blogging information can really be? -Creating a 30 questions list.

Friday

I'm feeling a little refreshed today because I slept well last night for a change. Or maybe it's the mystical effect of Friday on the soul. If only those labor crusaders of long ago had fought for a three day working week...I'd already be enjoying my weekend.

I've lots to do this one. Jefe and I will be putting finishing touches on the wine cellar in a marathon session on Sunday. He is also in possession of my new amplifier that will be coming home with me (screaming the whole way to be immediately put to use). We will have to see how tired I am as to if that process is started.

I have a fishing rod due for delivery for a very near birthday gift that has many hours of remaining work left on it. This one has a deadline so I gotta get my butt going. My tournament partner Joddi (NOT my wife) and I are to sit down an figure out our tournament schedule for the summer. This involves lots of calendars and a good deal of money, and can sometimes turn into a pissing match between the two of us. The dogs need exercise, the laundry is stacking up, the house needs cleaning...

Why the hell do I even bother leaving work?

Today is a lost cause

I was up all night tending to a business situation. Multiple phone calls at the wee hours of the morning tend to disrupt your sleep. Moreover, I have not been sleeping well for some time. I've had sleep studies, apnea machines, medication...Nothing works. There is a sleep deficit building within me, and today I feel like I gotta make a payment or things are going to get ugly.

An appeal for some Metaphysical help as well.

"Words to Describe Me" on the right shows I am still just an Agnostic, not an Atheist. So don't get your undies in a bundle over this if you're a devout Christian. Your beliefs are just fine with me. I could still be swayed, but you will need to work hard at it, and on more than just the following trivial line of my thought.

Here are some premises for an argument that has been knocking about in my head for some time. This is my first attempt to put it on paper:

IF:

A) Omnipotence (all powerfulness) encompasses all of Eric's abilities and more.

B) Eric has the ability to conceive of a entity that is more powerful than God.

Conclusion
C: Omnipotence includes the ability to conceive of an entity more powerful than God.


And IF:

D) God is omnipotent in ability .
(true by all popular accounts)

E) Omnipotence includes the ability to conceive of an entity more powerful than God.

Conclusion
F: God has the ability to conceive of an entity more powerful than Himself/Herself.


And if:

G) The conception of such an entity negates the one true "God", as "God" cannot be applied to both the entity and his better.

H) God has the ability to conceive of an entity more powerful than Himself/Herself

Conclusion
I: God negates Himself/Herself

Finally:

J) An entity that negates itself by it's very existence, is inconsistent with it's own existence.

K) God negates Himself/Herself

Conclusion
L: God does not exist.

If C,F, and I are all TRUE, then conclusion L is logically TRUE, but I don't know about it's validity or status as cogent.

Here is another true statement: I got an "F" in logic in college. So I may have stated or presented this argument wrong. I was never any good with those darn symbols! But there is something here that I just can't put my finger on. Forget the formal logics and just play with it. That is assuming your not in fear of eternal damnation.

Calling all String Theory Experts

This idea completely blows me away. I'm not a physicist, but I have been thinking since my frosh year in college about the ways in which the fundamental ideas in Quantum Mechanics might eventually integrate into Newtonian Physics. The progression of "String Theory" into "Superstring Theory" seems to definitely be on the right track (not that I would know...But I'm guessing).

I have a problem with Superstring though; I can't get a functional grasp on the idea of multiverses and braneworlds. A postulation in String theory posits us in a world of multiple dimensions. Not just 3+1 as we are familiar with, but.. I think the figure was as high as 26. Since we bathe in the soup of spacetime every second of our lives, these extra dimensions encompass us at any given moment. Somehow, it is surmised, the impact of Quantum Mechanics on string theory translates into the possibility that every action (and every OTHER choice of action) for any given thing results in differing outcomes in other "Parallel Universes".

If I decide to break a glass right now, I have possibly created another multiverse where I did not break the glass, and all other things are equal except the outcomes of breaking the glass. This seems plausible to me until you create boundaries for what constitutes an "action". It appears that as long as you don't break the laws of Physics, anything is possible. Did the simple act of me spelling this sentence correctly, create permutations of multiverses in which each and every letter in each word, in turn, is incorrect? Statistically the number of them would be enormous, and that does not even take into account whether I even typed the sentence or not, which font I used, the spacing, the syntax, or the very idea that produced it to begin with.

From what I have read about Superstring and Multiverses, I know it is gaining validity. Physicists are closing in on the first experimental confirmation of some of the theories the comprise it. But this byproduct I outlined above does not make logical sense to my puny brain. Every nanosecond of your life is an action. My heart beats 78 times a minute for X number of years..And there are billions of others on the planet doing the same thing. Every beat is technically a go/no-go proposition. How many multiverses were created with the last world wide heartbeat?

This theory is really a mind bender folks.

Deception

I'm becoming something of a consumer watchdog I guess. What I am about to describe may seem just "best practices" in the world of retailing, but it is unfair and deceptive to the consumer.

Shopping for a flatpanel LCD TV the other day, I was at Best Buy looking over the wares when I was approached by a geeksquad reject trying to tell me about the TV's. Unless you know how much I really do know about things like this, you can't fully appreciate the trap this guy was walking into. Anyway. There are these two sets sitting side by side; one is a Westinghouse 19" HD ready set and the other is a Toshiba 20" HD ready set. The Westinghouse retailed for $599 and the Tosh at $799. I asked the poor little punt why I would bother with the extra two bills on the Tosh set when the other had similar features. His reply? "Look at the difference in the picture". Indeed the Toshiba had a markedly better picture when compared side by side. Without saying anything, I wheeled the sets around and began swapping the inputs between the two. After a moment of resetting the TV's, I was at last ready to drop the hammer. "Now which one has the better picture?" I ask him. The previously underperforming Westinghouse was now the clear winner of the challenge. Acting as if I had just released the CIA spy list, the helpful salesman then vanished. I was to receive no further assistance from ANYONE that day. How odd to be in the land of the vulture with nary a bird in sight!

The Toshiba had been running with a component video feed, which is about as good as you can get in the analog realm. The Westinghouse was being fed by the coaxial input using a standard RG-6 cable with a cheap connector. This type of connection is not even capable of HD resolution! How many times do you think the Westinghouse would be chosen over the more expensive set by the average consumer? I'll bet the extra $200 is easy to find when your being stared in the face by the crappy alternative.

This is deceptive and predatorial. Best Buy is exploiting the lack of knowledge of their own potential customers. Most would not know enough about the difference in the setup to make a judgment between the displays. I know for a fact my parents would have just plunked down the extra dough for the "better picture"... And I bet that most people would as well.

Caveat Emptor has just left the building.

Two traits that can cause you problems.

Ig·no·rance . Who is more ignorant here; the man whose garage burned, or the firefighters that watched it?

Ar·ro·gance . A huge dis to all the other athletes who worked so hard...and never placed at the games. The gold so casually thrown away by the appearance of...Arrogance.

Since "The Sighting"

Most likely I am going to file this experience under the "never tell the kids about this" column. But the close encounter did spur me to do some research.

I grew up (and still live) about 20 miles from a small town named Elmwood, WI. In an unfortunate choice of tourism ploys, the town has billed itself as the "UFO capital of WI" since a rash of sightings in the 70's. There was even talk of building an official UFO landing site, but I don't recall if it ever materialized. Elmwoodies were generally scoffed at during my youth as being a touch "odd". The town was the talk of WestCentral WI during my formative years, so you can see that I am no stranger to talk of E.T. I have drunk more than my share of beer at "UFO Days" in Elmwood over the years.

During my recent research I had a chance to dig into the Elmwood sightings for some background on all the stories that I had heard, but had no knowledge of, over the years. My verdict? Elmwoodies are still a bit odd...but the sightings seem to have some real merit. They are at least plausible, and had multiple confirmations. Could it be that just having had a very weird encounter, I am now prejudice to thinking UFO's really exist? Possibly. But anyone who knows me knows that I am one of the worlds biggest skeptics. Interestingly enough..They also know I don't lie.

More interesting than Elmwood was the information on the dozens of large, triangular shaped craft that have been sighted over major highways in MN, WI, IL. One incident in IN was witnessed by multiple law officers from several different communities over about 50 miles! A large, triangular, totally silent craft was spotted traveling approx 300 feet off the ground for a very long distance. Another sighting of a "triangle" occurred about 50 miles west of here a couple of years ago. To me, the two most interesting shared aspects of these supposed craft are) 1. The reporting of a light at each corner of the triangle and 2. The craft disappeared nearly instantly. These two attributes match with my experience. It should also be noted that my sighting occurred within 3 miles of Interstate I-94.

Like I said; this is probably as far as this will ever go. I do think it strange that so many other persons in this area have reported such things over the years. I know what I saw was not anything that I could explain. If the other persons over the years are as firm in conviction as I...These things may deserve more of the right kind of attention than they are currently getting.

Learning and the Art of the Mistake

Jeff and I are in the process of building a very nifty wine cellar for him in an unused basement room. When it is done it will have about 600 bottles under temperature control and very nicely displayed. This is not the first, or largest, project the two of us have undertaken. One winter the project was a media room; and I must say it turned out very nice. Neither of us is what you could call a builder, but we are relatively handy with tools and complete A/V freaks. The single most important tool in our projects has proven to be the Internet. The Internet has taken abuse in the past because it is difficult to know if information contained on it is correct. There is never a problem with finding it..But can you believe it?
I really think that one of the most powerful effects of the Internet on learning, is that it is destroying the art of learning by mistake. Good riddance! I come from a generation that came into creative thinking at an age when the Internet was barely up and running. If you wanted to learn to do something when I was a child you read a book or had a teacher. Trial and error was the de facto process. How antiquated that all seems to me now.

Harnessing the power of the net allowed me to become an absolute guru on home theater construction. My knowledge was limited only by the amount of online research I can do. If you do ENOUGH browsing, patterns start to appear that consensus says are the "correct" methods, materials, and processes. I can now claim proficiency building a wine cellar, custom fishing rods, setting up A/V equipment and cooking...To name just a few of my internet conquests.

My point today is education. Ambition + education = success in task. The task can be as trite as cooking a ham...Or as daunting as self-improvement. Anybody can learn anything using the net. If we could just conquer the problem of universal access, the problem of limited resources in learning is gone. Human learning potential COULD be someday limited only by the desire for it, potentially creating a valid defense against the victim mentality so useful today.

Big Booyah!

Check out Jim Cramer's showMadMoney on CNBC. I really like this guy. He makes taking an ass-kicking in the stock market seem fun.

Censorship

Seems that the idea of censoring things has gotten much discussion of late due to Internet companies, China, and the "War on Terror" (note I am still using quotes on this even though the "conflict" has been officially named). My tirade against handicapping freedom has not progressed past my local Wal-Mart.

This REALLY bothers me.

Walk into any Wal-Mart...I don't care where...and head to the music section. Once there, look for some music you know contains profanity as intended by the recording artist. Any metal music will do. Notice the "EDITED" on the price sticker? Now for a real hoot, try to find the same recording without the "EDITED" part.

Won't happen at Wal-Mart.

Now...I am all for judicious protection of our youth. I wholeheartedly understand a business motive for offering alternative products for those who choose to seek them out. But please Mr. Smileyface; for goodness sakes offer your customers the freedom to CHOOSE censorship. Wal-Mart happens to be the only game in my town when it comes to buying music. Nevermind Wal-Mart's role in bringing that about. Put aside the fact that I am old enough that I still buy my music...(gasp)..in person. Wally world is now perpetrating in reverse the very argument that brought the "EDITED" versions of art to the store in the first place. That is: those who "want" have a right to "have available".

The hypocrisy of Wal-Mart is astounding. Mere feet away from my now protected ears strolling the CD aisle, lies the biggest collection of Hollywood garbage this side of Blockbuster. No "EDITED" tags here. Granted, there is not any "XXX" stuff. There is, however, plenty of "R" rated titles that I know for a fact contain some of the foulest dialog burned to celluloid. Scarface comes immediately to mind.

Looking in the other direction, my eyes meander to the video game section. A child, clearly under 17, is busy fragging the shit out of the Germans in an X Box 360 demo game. More violence can be seen here in 1 minute than can be visualized in an entire Snoop Dogg CD. The child would doubtfully ever make it past the checkout freak with this in hand. I mean after all it is LABELED "M" for mature, but that's the point. Wal-Mart seems perfectly content letting Junior stand there all day and play the thing. Where's Mom? Shopping the 5 for $10 lingerie sale no doubt. I get carded for tobacco on my way out because I "look" under 27!

Today's point is about choice, the Friedman philosophy of being "free to choose", and how it is applied. Hypocritically is how it is applied at the World's #1 retailer. Remember how that "Made in America" thing went over for you? Open mouth and insert foot Wally.

Still Thinking

Ok, I look back on what I just posted and it is entirely accurate. Problem is that I come off as some kind of kook. It is entirely coincidental and (indeed fortuitous) that I decided to resume blogging what...yesterday? Then this happens which, truthful as it is, probably has alienated (hah!)some potential readers.

I had to tell someone, why not the entire net?

I stand by my story.

(EDIT: 2/16/06 5:27AM. There was no mention on the local news last night of any lights in the sky over Western Wisconsin. I figured as much, but I was watching for some news just the same.)

I don't quite know how to say this

I just saw something in the sky on the way home from work. It was 5:21 pm CST to be exact. I STILL HAVE GOOSEBUMPS! Driving the 8 miles from my office to my home, I was about half-way when I happened to take my eyes off the road and glanced higher in the sky then one should safely look while driving.

LIGHTS! Three of them glowing brighter than any source of light I have ever seen. I slammed on my brakes (I wanted to make the driveway on my right but did not) to pull over and get a better look. In the span of about 4 seconds while I was trying to stop, darting my eyes from the lights to the road and back, I looked three times and they were gone on the fourth. I sat there for about a minute, half on-half off the road but they never came back.

I have been burning the images into my brain every second since. Trying to go back in time to re-analyze what I saw. So far I am fairly sure of the following:

1. Somebody else HAD to have seen these lights. There were 3 cars about 1/4 mile in front of me travelling the same direction. These lights would have been visable for DOZENS (hundreds?) of miles. People in the surrounding country towns HAD to have seen something.

2. Either the lights belonged to one "thing" that had to have been incredibly large...or it was three separate objects moving in total and complete unison. In any case, it was roughly the shape of a flattened triangle. Extremely hard to describe because I saw no outline. Nothing to indicate structure. Just three lights, clearly seperated, and moving together at a speed I would now call "slowly".

3. I believe #2 because my real-world experiences are telling me that it was some distance from me. It was very much "in the distance". To maintain those dimensions from the distance I observed would have made the object(s) truely massive. Held out to analogy, the lights "looked" about as big as a pea would look at arms length.

4. It was the brightest light I have ever seen. This happened in a rural setting. At night around here, the skies are so clear you can EASILY tell when an airplane or a satellite passes overhead. I have seen thousands of planes on approach to MPLS/ST. Paul because we are under the approach path of major flight routes to the International airport in the Twin Cities. Sometimes you can count up to 9 planes at once lining up to get clearance to land, and we are 85 miles east of the airport.

The lights I saw were in broad daylight! Comparing them to airplane lights with the only analogy I can think of right now: It would be like a million candlepower spotlight Vs. a penlight at 100 yards.

Guys this just happened. I still am not calmed down, so forgive my babbling. You decide for yourself whether this seems believable. I know that what I saw was not an airplane. It was not a meteor, swamp gas, weatherballon, ball lightning...or any other natural phenomenon. I can't identify it, so I guess it's really a U.F.O. because it WAS flying.

I'm going now to have a couple of beers to calm down.

Open Season on Cheney..No Stamp Required.

Unless your head is holed up with last nights dinner, you know that Dick the Veep accidentally shot someone whilst hunting. So where's the story? As a hunter, and also as someone whose been shot while hunting, I figure myself uniquely qualified to comment on this story. I've been cautious to avoid doing it to other hunters even as I was scared crapless when it happened to me.

Ladies and gentlemen this was an ACCIDENT. As much as we try to educate to avoid it, they do happen. Both parties were to blame, and the veep took a stand for himself today by fessing up his feelings on the incident. The heart of the matter is as far off of what has actually been covered as the VP's lousy aim is. The real story here is what tragic outcome could have materialized; namely that a man could have lost his life, but thankfully did not.

Dick's scattergunning of a lawyer would seem (and indeed has been proven) to be fodder for an attack. Where's the sense of relief that a man did NOT die? Are we so used to intentional gun violence, that when a genuine accident happens with a firearm the victim and the perpetrator are covered as criminals?

Lest you ever accidentally hit someone with your car, I suggest some sympathy is in order for both the veep and his target. Put yourself in these men's shoes. Ask yourself if you DID accidentally hit someone while driving...what would a thorough investigation of your car, records, insurance info, and driving history turn up that might play in the press?

Think about it.

Come to Papa....

My new Arcam AVP700 digital Pre/Pro. AWESOME!

I'm Not Ashamed to Admit it

I've pissed my pants with laughter twice in my life. Not metaphorically, but literally.
The first time was in college. I was mildly drunk and sitting around in the dorms when a neighbor comes by with a tape. A tape that would change my life. The tape was the now legendary Tube bar tape featuring none other than the legend himself....Red Deutsch. This recording had some of the most profane and volatile material I had ever heard, but it was (and still is) so goddamn funny you overlook the content and focus on the delivery. Young and proper women who may never have uttered an F-bomb in their lives, have ROLLED on the floor laughing at this thing. It's that good.

The guy who played it for me said he got it from his brother (the tape circulated by word of mouth for MANY years before reaching critical mass). When he played it, I laughed so hard I could not catch my breath. Wretching in spasms on the floor, I found it impossible to contain my bladder anymore, and out it came.
When I changed colleges I took a copy with me, and my new roommates became so enthralled by the bombastic Red, that one actually subconsciously adopted his mannerisms and speech. He went around quoting Red every chance he got. We finally had to do an intervention and beg him to stop, citing the public persona he had inadvertently attached to us by emulating a mental case.

The second time I was incontinent with laughter was much more recently. I regularly peruse The Onion for a daily laugh or two. Most are mere chuckles, occasionally a guffaw. When I read this I nearly shat my pants with laughter. Although I did manage to contain one bodily function, urinary continence was not among them.
I have since reread this article and found it much less funny. At the time, though, this parody was more than I could handle.

I only bring this up because I appreciate the fact that I can still laugh this hard after 37 years on this planet. Some people never laugh and that's too bad. The world would be a much better place if going to work required an extra change of clothes for everyone.

I know what you're thinking

What a stupid name for a blog.

Well, it actually has some sentimental meaning to me believe it or not. "Gomer's Pyle" was the name of my high school intramural floor hockey team. A bunch of crazy freakshows amalgamated from the swim team and the potheads; trained to a tee in highsticking and chopping. We ruled the floor....until the administration caught wind (pun intended) of our name and shut us down. They, in their infinite lack of scatological wisdom, failed to see the humor in it all. Oh well...good memories and better smoke.

This is my second attempt at blogging. The first was an unmitigated success but, alas, had to be closed down for personal reasons. Within these pages you will find enlightenment ONLY if you are extremely stupid or in a persistant vegetative state. This one is most for the fun of it all, but if you think hard enough and read long enough, there just may be some kernals in that there pyle!

Let the games begin.