I'm Not Ashamed to Admit it

I've pissed my pants with laughter twice in my life. Not metaphorically, but literally.
The first time was in college. I was mildly drunk and sitting around in the dorms when a neighbor comes by with a tape. A tape that would change my life. The tape was the now legendary Tube bar tape featuring none other than the legend himself....Red Deutsch. This recording had some of the most profane and volatile material I had ever heard, but it was (and still is) so goddamn funny you overlook the content and focus on the delivery. Young and proper women who may never have uttered an F-bomb in their lives, have ROLLED on the floor laughing at this thing. It's that good.

The guy who played it for me said he got it from his brother (the tape circulated by word of mouth for MANY years before reaching critical mass). When he played it, I laughed so hard I could not catch my breath. Wretching in spasms on the floor, I found it impossible to contain my bladder anymore, and out it came.
When I changed colleges I took a copy with me, and my new roommates became so enthralled by the bombastic Red, that one actually subconsciously adopted his mannerisms and speech. He went around quoting Red every chance he got. We finally had to do an intervention and beg him to stop, citing the public persona he had inadvertently attached to us by emulating a mental case.

The second time I was incontinent with laughter was much more recently. I regularly peruse The Onion for a daily laugh or two. Most are mere chuckles, occasionally a guffaw. When I read this I nearly shat my pants with laughter. Although I did manage to contain one bodily function, urinary continence was not among them.
I have since reread this article and found it much less funny. At the time, though, this parody was more than I could handle.

I only bring this up because I appreciate the fact that I can still laugh this hard after 37 years on this planet. Some people never laugh and that's too bad. The world would be a much better place if going to work required an extra change of clothes for everyone.