Let's kick it up a notch

J is plying me for information the other day about who I did and did not have, physical relations with in high school. Since I was one of the "popular" people, and he was in a different clique, he must like to live vicariously through my experiences with girls he never had a shot at. It's all I can figure. Men DO talk about these things...Contrary to popular opinion, and especially when trapped in a boat with each other for 8 hours. The topic is ancient history, and not as offensive as it initially sounds.

Anyway.

He starts telling ME about girls he got physical with that we went to high school with (I was not asking for this info!), and he gets to a certain name and uses the phrase "made love" instead of "nailed", "banged" "boinked" or "did".

"Wait a minute" I say. "Why did you just say the two of you "made love" instead of a more colorful term." He thinks for a minute, and can't really give me a reason except that he now associates that phrase with that experience.

"J, this is a goddamn social quandary" I say. "The social scientist in me is demanding you think about this, and give me a satisfactory explanation as to why you "make love" to one person, and "get laid" with someone else. I'm not chalking this up to semantics".

"Could it be who initiated the encounter?" I say.
"Could it be the duration of the encounter?"
"Could it be the level of enjoyment of the encounter?"
"Could it be a factor of effort expended to GET the encounter?"
"Could it be the number of times the encounters happened"?

"I don't think any of those are it" he says. "I think it's more that I THOUGHT I was in love with her at the time, so I subconsciously used that phrase because that is how I remember feeling about it".

"So you used the rest of them for sex." I said. "Could it be that THEY are the ones that subconsciously get the unflattering term in retrospect, out of your guilt?"

"You wanna get punched don't ya...Keep it up Gomer and you'll get what you want"

I think I found the answer. Unfortunately I had known it all along, having come to grips with and corrected my past objectification of women years ago. I simply helped another man to breakthrough in a Dr. Phil moment, and admit the majority of his sexual experiences were of the "using" variety, however innocent and consensual they appeared at the time.

PS. J is not a misogynist, wife beater or abuser of women in any way shape or form. Never has been and never will be. He is a super nice guy, responsible father and loving husband. I post this simply to expose how perceptions change with time. What is acceptable...Even desirable...At one point in your life, can be viewed differently later on. This type of information is universally missing from young men's sexual educations, just as it was with my generation. Sadly, more and more women are following in mens shoes these days. More and more I see young college girls treating men as objects and conquests. They too will someday realize that casual sex was a meaningless, dangerous, and degrading act for both participants.

They may even feel a little guilty.