Thursday, April 13, 2006

Here's the thing about Iran

Preemption. The word is as dirty as a sewer-pipe inspector, and means different things to different people. Here is an incredibly stupid analogy of what it means to me:

I call you every night for a week and tell you I am going to burn down your house. Your neighbor knows me, and tells you on Friday not to worry. I don't have any gasoline, and I'm too stupid to find any. In any case, you have nothing to worry about.

Monday of the following week
I appear on TV announcing I have just taken delivery of a tank truck full of gasoline. I put on a corny display with dancers and confetti for the media, while parading the truck full of gas around for all to see. Your neighbor calls you that night to tell you that my wife would NEVER let me burn your house down, so you really don't have anything to worry about.

Tuesday morning
You wake up to find the tank truck parked outside your home. Your neighbor calls the traffic cop to have it ticketed, figuring the ticket will provoke it's proper parking. After all, it's parked on his shrubs and not on the street, and I need to be shown that parking is only allowed on the street.

Wednesday morning
You wake up to find me pumping hundreds of gallons of gas onto your house. Your neighbor calls for a neighborhood meeting to ascertain just what the hell I am doing. Collectively, you all study my actions while your house is being soaked.

Wednesday Noon
You all decide I should not have the privilege of obtaining gasoline anymore, due to my apparent lack of knowledge of it's proper use as a motor fuel. Collectively, you all call for neighbor Jim's big brother Stu, to slash the tires on my livestock truck as a warning not to continue with my improper use of gasoline.

Wednesday 2PM
I appear on you door step with a zippo blazing wildly. I publicly call for your house to be wiped off the block. Local media covers my ranting, but mostly they do not believe I have been working on obtaining gasoline, much less that I know how to use fire.

Wednesday 5PM
Your house explodes in a fireball of epic proportions, affecting not only your house, but the neighbor's as well. The block is a total loss. The neighbors of MY block dance in the streets and fire off AK-47s at the news of the destruction of you and your neighbors. I die in the blast..A martyr to the cause of my block.

Thursday
Investigators sifting through the rubble, find an answering machine filled with voice messages threatening to burn down your house. It contains messages from every day last week. They conclude you must have fabricated it as evidence for yourself to collect insurance money from an arson fire.


Back to preemption. When would have been the appropriate time to pass all your information to the police for investigation?

When would have been an appropriate time for the police to raid my house looking for evidence?

When would the appropriate time have been to detain or strike at me to prevent the attack the police now know is going to happen?

Answer?
Anytime BEFORE Wednesday 5PM!

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