WTF?

Ok, so I'm perusing the "Answers" section of Yahoo! recently looking for the meaning of life and I am suddenly struck by a revelation: A cure for acne, hair loss, and dental disfigurement has been found while I was sleeping! How could I have missed such significant cosmetic advancements? I mean...come on kiddies, every single one of you is being represented by an Avatar that looks straight from the screen of A Saturday morning cartoon. No halitosis here thank you very much! Lazy eye...what the hell is that and wasn't it cured in windows 3.1 anyway? Can't you see from my Avatar that I have big, moist, comforting eyes that are even winking at you like I might find you attractive? No bloodshot "I had too much tequila last night" happening here.

Where is the outrage by the Youth of today against "The Man" for singlehandedly pigeon-holing them into such forced perfection? When I was a kid, we had to use actual PHOTOS...and we LIKED it! Raw realism..that's what it was all about. Where is the Avatar depicting severe scarring Acne? What about those Rosecea sufferers forced to represent themselves as Oil of Olay spokesmodels? Is there no one who battles for white teeth anymore, has a neck sporting a double chin, or a congenital birth mark squarely planted on their nose? Exema sufferers abandon the Net as early as 1987 by the looks of things.

Rise up normal people and revolt! Cast off the chains of animated oppression that's been sticking it to you for years with it's "perfect faces" and "selectable skin tones". Demand from the Avatar gods the realism you deserve when choosing to animate your likeness on the Net. We want sunburn! We want crowsfeet! Bring out the coldsores! Those shall be our rallying cries. Give us those scars from that terrible house fire you've been hiding from us all this time...WE WANT OUR INDENTITIES BACK!

Remember kids, you can't send your Avatar to a job interview...not yet anyway. You can sleep with your girlfriend's Avatar, but it will be vaguely unsatisfying, possibly messy, and definitely prone to lacerations. Get in touch with the REAL you now, before it's too late. Lets return the world to it's pimple ridden glory days by forcing ourselves to be...(gasp)....ourselves.