By special request of a loyal reader, may I present Joddi's ass as promised.
If you need more material for your lip-biting fantasy, check out the photo Pyle.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Railroad spikes
Let me throw out a mental image sure to get your blood pressure up, or at least get a rise out of something.
Sunday morning a middle-aged, rather attractive woman sits down with her family in the booth next to me at the local Perkins restaurant. She has on a tight fitting, grey cloth tank top that looks vacuum formed, and is obviously NOT wearing a bra. It's not hard to tell. Men are very keen at noticing these things.
Here is the really freaky part. Her nipples, capping off a pair of average breasts, were erect...and a good TWO INCHES long! Holy shit! You could have suckled a rhino with those things! To me, this begged a few questions in my mind as I ate my eggs and tried (unsuccessfully) not to stare...
Why on God's green Earth, would you not take this into consideration when dressing? If you know your nips can take someones eye out, would you not restrain them in some way? Some tape anyone? A bra for you today perhaps? Planning for an erection at an inopportune time is a way of life for a teenage boy, why can't mom have some foresight as well?
What the hell were the reasons for their perkiness in the 90 degree, humidity slick that was Sunday morning? I've seen my share of headlights before, but not without a cold pool, cranking A/C unit, or manual stimulation to blame, and NEVER...never EVER this large. We are talking a candidate for some type of experimental surgery here.
What the hell is your 13(ish) year old son thinking about mom's cans at this point? Do his friends pay money for pictures? Is not being forced to consider your mothers nipples in public reason enough for child services to step in? This kid is being set up for a major dissapointment the first time he rounds second base. Dad really should tell him during the "birds and bees" speech.. "and son, your mother's nipples are freaks of nature" lest he think we all get garden hoses to play with when we grow up.
What did this woman do during Gym (Phys. Ed. for those of you east of OH) when she had to stand naked in front of her peers who possesed a mere mortal set of conduit? Obviously it was not an unpleasant situation, or she would not now be broadcasting via the no-bra-needed channel, the fact that her mammaries were plumbed better than the local water system. Was she looked up to by her peers? Is this a sign in Femdom of gifted status similar to the boy endowed with a horsecock would be to his peers? I'll never know.
I could go on and on, but the rest is reserved for me in my head. In the end I felt bad for her. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that her knockers could drill for oil. Dad looked the same way...he obviously had seen this before. Little Jimmy looked embarrassed, or aroused, or embarrassed to be aroused, and the waitress looked horrified. Me? I just looked, pondered, and ate my eggs with the newspaper squarely on my lap.
Sunday morning a middle-aged, rather attractive woman sits down with her family in the booth next to me at the local Perkins restaurant. She has on a tight fitting, grey cloth tank top that looks vacuum formed, and is obviously NOT wearing a bra. It's not hard to tell. Men are very keen at noticing these things.
Here is the really freaky part. Her nipples, capping off a pair of average breasts, were erect...and a good TWO INCHES long! Holy shit! You could have suckled a rhino with those things! To me, this begged a few questions in my mind as I ate my eggs and tried (unsuccessfully) not to stare...
Why on God's green Earth, would you not take this into consideration when dressing? If you know your nips can take someones eye out, would you not restrain them in some way? Some tape anyone? A bra for you today perhaps? Planning for an erection at an inopportune time is a way of life for a teenage boy, why can't mom have some foresight as well?
What the hell were the reasons for their perkiness in the 90 degree, humidity slick that was Sunday morning? I've seen my share of headlights before, but not without a cold pool, cranking A/C unit, or manual stimulation to blame, and NEVER...never EVER this large. We are talking a candidate for some type of experimental surgery here.
What the hell is your 13(ish) year old son thinking about mom's cans at this point? Do his friends pay money for pictures? Is not being forced to consider your mothers nipples in public reason enough for child services to step in? This kid is being set up for a major dissapointment the first time he rounds second base. Dad really should tell him during the "birds and bees" speech.. "and son, your mother's nipples are freaks of nature" lest he think we all get garden hoses to play with when we grow up.
What did this woman do during Gym (Phys. Ed. for those of you east of OH) when she had to stand naked in front of her peers who possesed a mere mortal set of conduit? Obviously it was not an unpleasant situation, or she would not now be broadcasting via the no-bra-needed channel, the fact that her mammaries were plumbed better than the local water system. Was she looked up to by her peers? Is this a sign in Femdom of gifted status similar to the boy endowed with a horsecock would be to his peers? I'll never know.
I could go on and on, but the rest is reserved for me in my head. In the end I felt bad for her. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that her knockers could drill for oil. Dad looked the same way...he obviously had seen this before. Little Jimmy looked embarrassed, or aroused, or embarrassed to be aroused, and the waitress looked horrified. Me? I just looked, pondered, and ate my eggs with the newspaper squarely on my lap.
%@##%^*&^!!!
The weekend was a TOTAL loss, and I'll admit it right up front...we absolutely and very completely TANKED in our tournament. Do you think it may have been the fact that we started out by receiving a warning from the local constable about the incoming deadly storms just before take-off? "We've got reports of 75 MPH winds doing major damage just North of here, you may want to reconsider going out in this" he told the entire field of participants minutes before blast off. Or maybe it was the fact that at 3:45 AM it was a balmy 81 degrees out, and by 1 PM I would be BEGGING for 81 again while turning to paste under 99 degree sun.
I think it was more the fact that at 1 PM, an hour before we were due to weigh in, we had just one legal fish in the well. "Gumby and Shane (our other teammates) are going to kill us" I said to Joddi. "You know damn well they have 15#, and we are going to cost them some serious money". It did not matter at that point. We were exhausted...having tried everything we knew to boat some legal fish, to no avail. And it turns out it didn't matter at all. Gumby and Shane were, at that point, saying the very same thing about US! They stepped on their dicks too, and weighed in only 2 fish. All four of us breathed a sigh of relief when reunited at the weigh in...it had gone horribly wrong for ALL of us, and nobody was letting anybody down. Time to drink a few...I'm buying!
Some other things that made the weekend a boner: I suffered heat stroke and a massive case of stinging nettles while trying to trout fish Sunday morning, then continued the bake-off by shooting a round of sporting clays in the afternoon. I shot a 27. A FRICKEN 27!!!!! What a way to bring down your league average, and oh-so stupid on my part. I should have never tried to shoot in that heat, especially after nearly collapsing on the creek earlier. More beer needed. Must have A/C fast!
I spent the rest of the afternoon lying in bed in the air conditioning, nursing nettle welts, and wishing I would have done this very thing all weekend. It would have been a waste either way...but a lot cheaper and exponentially more comfortable.
I think it was more the fact that at 1 PM, an hour before we were due to weigh in, we had just one legal fish in the well. "Gumby and Shane (our other teammates) are going to kill us" I said to Joddi. "You know damn well they have 15#, and we are going to cost them some serious money". It did not matter at that point. We were exhausted...having tried everything we knew to boat some legal fish, to no avail. And it turns out it didn't matter at all. Gumby and Shane were, at that point, saying the very same thing about US! They stepped on their dicks too, and weighed in only 2 fish. All four of us breathed a sigh of relief when reunited at the weigh in...it had gone horribly wrong for ALL of us, and nobody was letting anybody down. Time to drink a few...I'm buying!
Some other things that made the weekend a boner: I suffered heat stroke and a massive case of stinging nettles while trying to trout fish Sunday morning, then continued the bake-off by shooting a round of sporting clays in the afternoon. I shot a 27. A FRICKEN 27!!!!! What a way to bring down your league average, and oh-so stupid on my part. I should have never tried to shoot in that heat, especially after nearly collapsing on the creek earlier. More beer needed. Must have A/C fast!
I spent the rest of the afternoon lying in bed in the air conditioning, nursing nettle welts, and wishing I would have done this very thing all weekend. It would have been a waste either way...but a lot cheaper and exponentially more comfortable.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Blast Furnace Babble
I think most of the Country is in a heat wave at present, but since I am not in "most of the Country", but right here, let me give you an idea of how hot West Central Wisconsin is right now:
It's so hot, even the rednecks are using sunscreen.
It's so hot, they are actually running electricity to the trailer park.
It's so hot, cow farts are igniting.
It's so hot, a Wal-Mart cashier asked me "hot enough for ya"? Can you believe that?
It's so hot, people are actually swimming in the local lakes instead of just dumping their sewage into them.
It's so hot, I'm wearing frozen underwear.
It's so hot, I saw some girls not wearing ANY! Yahoo!
It's so hot, "crazy from the heat" has become an accepted legal defense.
And last but not least:
It's so hot, Packer fans actually smell just as bad as Vikings fans.
Stay cool Pylons (my catchy new name for anyone caught reading this blog). I'm fairly sure I will suffer heat stroke tomorrow, so look for me to be out of commission over the weekend.
It's so hot, even the rednecks are using sunscreen.
It's so hot, they are actually running electricity to the trailer park.
It's so hot, cow farts are igniting.
It's so hot, a Wal-Mart cashier asked me "hot enough for ya"? Can you believe that?
It's so hot, people are actually swimming in the local lakes instead of just dumping their sewage into them.
It's so hot, I'm wearing frozen underwear.
It's so hot, I saw some girls not wearing ANY! Yahoo!
It's so hot, "crazy from the heat" has become an accepted legal defense.
And last but not least:
It's so hot, Packer fans actually smell just as bad as Vikings fans.
Stay cool Pylons (my catchy new name for anyone caught reading this blog). I'm fairly sure I will suffer heat stroke tomorrow, so look for me to be out of commission over the weekend.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
GET IN MY BELLY!
John and Lynn are over tonight for another trout feed. I think I will try two new recipies to change things up a bit. It promises to be a long night with plenty O' alcohol.
At least there is no claypot smoker to stumble into.
A fish feed comes about when you get the hankering to go fishing and the freezer is full. Both John and I are stocked up, so we need to enjoy some of the fruits of our labor in order to continue laboring. The "big boy" will stay in the freezer for a while so I can recall catching it every time I open the freezer door.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Punditry
I've created another page on the pull down for all my new (and some of my old) posts having anything to do with politics, warfare and World events. I thought I would spare the diary-type readers from having to endure my punditry, and save the home pyle for the personal dirt.
I'm working on a way to alert you to new posts on the politics page from the main page, but in the mean time, check out my latest ramblings on the Mid-East turmoil here.
I'm working on a way to alert you to new posts on the politics page from the main page, but in the mean time, check out my latest ramblings on the Mid-East turmoil here.
I'm going to hell
Saturday I will spend 8 hours in a boat. Not an easygoing, beer-laced relaxer; but a hardworking, fastpaced, pressure cooker of an event. The forecasted temperature...97 degrees & humid as a monkey's ass. The day is scheduled to begin at 3:45 AM when partner Joddi is supposed to pick me up. First flight (our flight) take off is 6:00 AM, weigh in at 2:00 PM.
So by 6:00 PM when I get home, I will not only be convection-baked, steamed and rotisseried, but I will be dead tired as well. All in the name of fun.
Hopefully I will also be $3000 richer. For some reason I am not looking forward to it.
So by 6:00 PM when I get home, I will not only be convection-baked, steamed and rotisseried, but I will be dead tired as well. All in the name of fun.
Hopefully I will also be $3000 richer. For some reason I am not looking forward to it.
A deeper shade of Music
Jodi was away in Chicago for a night, so true to my custom when she leaves, I ate a meal she hates but I love (mussels this time) and got lost in music over some wine until the wee hours of the AM. I really went retro this last jam session, digging out some of the old CD's I still worship such as:
Urban Dance Squad
I Mother Earth - Scenery & Fish
Steve Vai - Flex'able
Joe Satriani - Surfing with the Alien
I was AGAIN struck by how good Scenery & Fish is as an album...IMHO, this unrecognized band and obscure album is on the list of the top 10 rock albums ever burned. It never lets me down...It's that good! If you can remember the late eighties, you surely remember Urban Dance Squad's "Deeper Shade of Soul" single that got all the MTV play. Trust me when I say it is the weakest track on this otherwise phenomenally diverse album. How these guys blew it is beyond me. I think the world was just not ready for the UDS sound at that time.
Blame it on Matt Pinfield for digging out Joe and Steve. I had just watched "Sound off" on HDNet where he interviewed Joe Satriani. Did you know that Joe taught Steve Vai how to play, as well as Kirk Hammet of Metallica? I thought Steve Vai was born guitar in hand, capable of writing a tune honoring his own birth mere moments after popping out. Nope...he may be a virtuoso, but Joe S. taught him everything he knows! "Surfing with the Alien" remains THE definitive instrumental rock guitar album because it was such a risk...and such a passion for Joe. Steve's "Call it Sleep" track on the "Flex'able" album nearly wore out two of my CD players from overuse. Besides Pink Floyd's entire album "The Final Cut", it is the only music I own capable of bringing me to tears when I listen...and there is not a single word in the entire song! That is power. He wrote it in high school about the death of a friend, and at 37, I have yet to accomplish anything meaningful. Go figure.
Urban Dance Squad
I Mother Earth - Scenery & Fish
Steve Vai - Flex'able
Joe Satriani - Surfing with the Alien
I was AGAIN struck by how good Scenery & Fish is as an album...IMHO, this unrecognized band and obscure album is on the list of the top 10 rock albums ever burned. It never lets me down...It's that good! If you can remember the late eighties, you surely remember Urban Dance Squad's "Deeper Shade of Soul" single that got all the MTV play. Trust me when I say it is the weakest track on this otherwise phenomenally diverse album. How these guys blew it is beyond me. I think the world was just not ready for the UDS sound at that time.
Blame it on Matt Pinfield for digging out Joe and Steve. I had just watched "Sound off" on HDNet where he interviewed Joe Satriani. Did you know that Joe taught Steve Vai how to play, as well as Kirk Hammet of Metallica? I thought Steve Vai was born guitar in hand, capable of writing a tune honoring his own birth mere moments after popping out. Nope...he may be a virtuoso, but Joe S. taught him everything he knows! "Surfing with the Alien" remains THE definitive instrumental rock guitar album because it was such a risk...and such a passion for Joe. Steve's "Call it Sleep" track on the "Flex'able" album nearly wore out two of my CD players from overuse. Besides Pink Floyd's entire album "The Final Cut", it is the only music I own capable of bringing me to tears when I listen...and there is not a single word in the entire song! That is power. He wrote it in high school about the death of a friend, and at 37, I have yet to accomplish anything meaningful. Go figure.
Monday, July 24, 2006
In case you missed it...
A little tidbit for the faithful in the last post, very easily missed...
I ended up springing (splurging or overextending maybe?) on the Benelli last week. I just could not fricken take it anymore. Credit cards do have a purpose you know. After a more careful inspection (in which I was surprised not to find demonic engravings due to the voices it had previously placed in my head), I have pronounced myself completely satiated. Yea though I slipped into female pattern shopping for this purchase, I shall fear no remorse, for it is the nicest gun in the valley. Amen.
It is true; I agonized, fretted, compared, drew out, exhausted, and generally complicated the process of getting this gun. Tactics, tactics, tactics. My wife eventually got sick of the process and just said "buy it already", which of course, was the overt permission and subliminal victory I had been seeking all along. How could I then let her down? I must say you have executed a brilliant maneuver on the marital battlefield when you place yourself in a position of having to buy something YOU want... to calm down your spouse. That is psy. ops. "total war", and complete victory all wrapped up in one. I should also add that I was once or twice the "enemy combatant" of my wife's juggernaut. To wit; the kayak that was going to be worn out before the warranty even expired...sitting since it's purchase, unwetted in the garage. The skull cracking career as a mountain bike racer complete with a NASA designed & approved Trek bike, now gathering dust alongside it's car carrier in the same den of unpursued activities. It's all good though. We both know when each other really wants something, and by and large, that is more important for harmony than the act itself. At least I think it is. Maybe that theory needs more testing...like with a boat trade or something.
I don't think so. Remember, there is a new gun in the house, and my wife knows how to shoot!
I ended up springing (splurging or overextending maybe?) on the Benelli last week. I just could not fricken take it anymore. Credit cards do have a purpose you know. After a more careful inspection (in which I was surprised not to find demonic engravings due to the voices it had previously placed in my head), I have pronounced myself completely satiated. Yea though I slipped into female pattern shopping for this purchase, I shall fear no remorse, for it is the nicest gun in the valley. Amen.
It is true; I agonized, fretted, compared, drew out, exhausted, and generally complicated the process of getting this gun. Tactics, tactics, tactics. My wife eventually got sick of the process and just said "buy it already", which of course, was the overt permission and subliminal victory I had been seeking all along. How could I then let her down? I must say you have executed a brilliant maneuver on the marital battlefield when you place yourself in a position of having to buy something YOU want... to calm down your spouse. That is psy. ops. "total war", and complete victory all wrapped up in one. I should also add that I was once or twice the "enemy combatant" of my wife's juggernaut. To wit; the kayak that was going to be worn out before the warranty even expired...sitting since it's purchase, unwetted in the garage. The skull cracking career as a mountain bike racer complete with a NASA designed & approved Trek bike, now gathering dust alongside it's car carrier in the same den of unpursued activities. It's all good though. We both know when each other really wants something, and by and large, that is more important for harmony than the act itself. At least I think it is. Maybe that theory needs more testing...like with a boat trade or something.
I don't think so. Remember, there is a new gun in the house, and my wife knows how to shoot!
Rock On
I want to give a shout-out to Jefe for helping me finish up at Jeff's this weekend. You ROCK Jefe! Glad we're done, because it was the last weekend I could devote to that project...now it is on to fishing, fishing, and more fishing. Every weekend until September 16th. I need this. I'm getting rusty during this lull period of June and July.
This Saturday is the Chetek four-man tournament. Four guys fish as a team, two in each boat, for a limit of ten fish and $3000. Total weight of the combined catch is what counts. I am expecting 25 teams to compete if past years are any clue to participation. This one is tricky because your half of the team could tank while the other half sets a record for poundage. The result is you lose to a team that displays some consistency. I've seen it happen where half a team brings in 15# with 5 fish (an awesome bag), and the other half of the team brings in 1 fish. You will lose to a team that brings in 10 fish that are barely legal. Anyway, Joddi and I have two good sticks as our teammates. I expect us to do well, maybe even cash a good check. Like I said, it will just be good to get back at it.
Some other things that rocked this weekend: Israel, the new Benelli (I didn't tell you?), John Kittel (for the cold ones after 100 sporting clays in the hot sun), Zach & Jace Kittel (for carrying the team), and the old buck Reggie for being such a good dog while we dog-sat over the weekend. Kudos to you for reading this...you rock TOO!
This Saturday is the Chetek four-man tournament. Four guys fish as a team, two in each boat, for a limit of ten fish and $3000. Total weight of the combined catch is what counts. I am expecting 25 teams to compete if past years are any clue to participation. This one is tricky because your half of the team could tank while the other half sets a record for poundage. The result is you lose to a team that displays some consistency. I've seen it happen where half a team brings in 15# with 5 fish (an awesome bag), and the other half of the team brings in 1 fish. You will lose to a team that brings in 10 fish that are barely legal. Anyway, Joddi and I have two good sticks as our teammates. I expect us to do well, maybe even cash a good check. Like I said, it will just be good to get back at it.
Some other things that rocked this weekend: Israel, the new Benelli (I didn't tell you?), John Kittel (for the cold ones after 100 sporting clays in the hot sun), Zach & Jace Kittel (for carrying the team), and the old buck Reggie for being such a good dog while we dog-sat over the weekend. Kudos to you for reading this...you rock TOO!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
New Music
I'm desperate to find some new band to latch onto. The EMO/Shoegazer/Alt pop bands like Dashboard Confessional, AFI, My Bloody Valentine, Coheed & Cambria and such are just not doing it for me. I always stay on top of the new music, and the younger generation is often shocked to find "their" bands spinning on my players, but there is just not much out there right now that I consider talent. Some bands I am checking out right now include:
Thousand Foot Krutch
Flyleaf
Evans Blue
presence
How can you not like presence when they have a song called "Tonz of Fun" with lyrics like this:
I rest my case about today's music.
Thousand Foot Krutch
Flyleaf
Evans Blue
presence
How can you not like presence when they have a song called "Tonz of Fun" with lyrics like this:
"Stranger in my bed. Can't recall last night
That's why...
I'm sleepin with Carnie Wilson's head.
Oh God, got to wash my nuts..
I've done it once again..
(chorus)
Go, Go, get dressed...
Get outta my bed...
now find your way home.
(repeat)
Lucky to have survived.
She was more than twice my size. Big is beautiful,
But I'm just a small guy,
And I could break under the weight of her thighs.
Maybe I should quit my drinking...
What was I thinking...
Oh God I've done it once again.
(chorus)
(repeat)
I rest my case about today's music.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Brilliant
Now I don't have to just imagine how much I want the Benelli, I posted a picture of it here so I can be reminded of it everytime I open the site.
That was really dumb. Maybe I am trying to subliminally advertise to myself, is that even possible?
That was really dumb. Maybe I am trying to subliminally advertise to myself, is that even possible?
Monday, July 17, 2006
Peashooter envy
I had a long pout with myself yesterday over my inability to afford a new shotgun. Not just any shotgun, but a new Benelli SuperSport clays model. Without a doubt, one of the best in the world for sporting clays. Sounds trivial...and it was...but I really, really, REALLY want it. When I felt it's beautiful balance for the first time, I found myself instantly wishing I was 5 years old again so that I could throw a huge tantrum about not being able to get it. You know the kind; on your knees bawling and sobbing, shrieking about parents who never buy you anything, making promises you can never keep if only you could have this one thing! This tends to look rather silly as an adult, but does occasionally work on spouses if laced with sufficient guilt, but not this time (I've already tried). Tantrums aside, there are few good outlets to vent frustration over the "can't haves" in life. This gun is like the ring in the "Lord of the Rings" for me...I'm powerless under it's spell. Mere mortals simply faint with exquisite agony at the sight of one. It's my precious, but we will be forever separated by those nasty green hobbitses...fifteen hundred of them to be roughly accurate. Filthy green hobbitses..Capt. HATES hobbitses!
I better get up off my knees. Nobody is hearing my pleading back here in my office anyway, but look for a "Donations" button to appear here shortly as my last hope.
Interesting weekend
Saturday morning I'm watching the news and drinking a cuppajoe when Jodi appears from the basement with a load of laundry. "Honey, you better take a look at the basement, there is water in it" she says to me. Not getting too excited yet, I continue watching TV and half-heartedly reply "where".
"Everywhere".
Turns out the drain line for the furnace had somehow gotten plugged. The air conditioning has been running non-stop for weeks, so the condensate had just been accumulating in the furnace and overflowing onto the floor. Covered up by all the shit we have in the basement, it had gone unnoticed for who knows how long. Weeks? Months?
Anyway, by the time she did notice it, the water had soaked everything placed on the floor, so we spent the day emptying the basement and soaking up the spill. Fixing the drainline tool 15 seconds, but the cleanup lasted all day.
On Sunday Macy was repaid for her boldness by a bee sting on her right eyebrow. Nearly immediately it started to swell, and stayed that way all day. She looked like some mutant monster with a growth on her melon the size of a baseball. There really was nothing we could do...except secretly laugh about "just desserts" for this aggressive little pup. By nightfall it had subsided a little, and this morning she is back to normal. I doubt she learned anything in the process.
"Everywhere".
Turns out the drain line for the furnace had somehow gotten plugged. The air conditioning has been running non-stop for weeks, so the condensate had just been accumulating in the furnace and overflowing onto the floor. Covered up by all the shit we have in the basement, it had gone unnoticed for who knows how long. Weeks? Months?
Anyway, by the time she did notice it, the water had soaked everything placed on the floor, so we spent the day emptying the basement and soaking up the spill. Fixing the drainline tool 15 seconds, but the cleanup lasted all day.
On Sunday Macy was repaid for her boldness by a bee sting on her right eyebrow. Nearly immediately it started to swell, and stayed that way all day. She looked like some mutant monster with a growth on her melon the size of a baseball. There really was nothing we could do...except secretly laugh about "just desserts" for this aggressive little pup. By nightfall it had subsided a little, and this morning she is back to normal. I doubt she learned anything in the process.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Wednesday
Today could be a real bitch. Something wicked this way comes...and when/if it does, well...
Near my house is a river running clean and cold. Under the waters, the current scours the sand over sheets of solid stone. In other words...it has a rock bottom.
I will figuratively be there.
Near my house is a river running clean and cold. Under the waters, the current scours the sand over sheets of solid stone. In other words...it has a rock bottom.
I will figuratively be there.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Help Me!
I'm arriving...slowly at first...but with ever increasing speed, to the point where blogging again seems useless & stupid. I'm SEARCHING for blogs to link to; blogs to follow regularly and enjoy, but I can't find a piece of liquid paper I can read for more than post or two (reader #2 excepted).
To wit, I've had my fill of: Angry politicos both left and right, dimwitted teenie-boppers utilizing the sweet sixteen powerbook, bored silly housewives, angry lesbians, Christians, crafters, "carnivals" of all types, pundits (geographical or otherwise), HNT, anonymous porn actresses and would-be-writers.
Pull me from the brink peoples. This malaise KILLED my first blog. There must be intelligent life out there somewhere.
To wit, I've had my fill of: Angry politicos both left and right, dimwitted teenie-boppers utilizing the sweet sixteen powerbook, bored silly housewives, angry lesbians, Christians, crafters, "carnivals" of all types, pundits (geographical or otherwise), HNT, anonymous porn actresses and would-be-writers.
Pull me from the brink peoples. This malaise KILLED my first blog. There must be intelligent life out there somewhere.
Mo readers
In my quest to be elevated from "Insignificant Microbe" status, I have admitted authorship of this blog to two more people. I broke the news to Tom & Jenny the other night, that they were indeed being posted about on my blog. What followed was the obligatory display (and the inevitable bookmark) of Gomer's on yet another computer. Since Jenny is an English teacher, I now have to be phobic about punctuation; small price to pay for another TWO readers.
World domination is at hand, with a mere 1-2 thousand more regular visitors, I could be a "higher being" on TTLB.
Welcome Tom & Jenny, glad to have you visiting.
World domination is at hand, with a mere 1-2 thousand more regular visitors, I could be a "higher being" on TTLB.
Welcome Tom & Jenny, glad to have you visiting.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Funny Stuff
In case you have not seen this, it's hilarious. Make sure the sound is turned on for this one (no profanity).
Frickin Weird
The picture below is of the second largest Brown trout I ever caught. I caught it yesterday evening. The LARGEST Brown I ever caught was caught 21 years ago...to the very day...July 9, 1985.
The fact that I was even fishing trout on both these dates 21 years apart is highly coincidental. The fact that I caught "two" fish of a lifetime on this exact date is lottery smashing odds.
Be sure to stay tuned for the update on July 9th, 2027 to see if I can pull off the three-peat.
The fact that I was even fishing trout on both these dates 21 years apart is highly coincidental. The fact that I caught "two" fish of a lifetime on this exact date is lottery smashing odds.
Be sure to stay tuned for the update on July 9th, 2027 to see if I can pull off the three-peat.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Remember the Willow Switch post?
This is what lives there.
23" brown trout caught on a Maximum Impact Rod and a home made spinner. It is the 2nd largest stream trout of my life, and came on the second cast to the spot after a 56 minute battle getting there.
Revenge is so sweet!
23" brown trout caught on a Maximum Impact Rod and a home made spinner. It is the 2nd largest stream trout of my life, and came on the second cast to the spot after a 56 minute battle getting there.
Revenge is so sweet!
Friday, July 07, 2006
HTML / CSS Idiot
Why doesn't the blog in Firefox look the same as IE? I tweak the blog till it's looking good in Firefox, then open it with IE, and lose colors and have layout problems.
What gives? Most people us IE, so this blog probably looks like crap.
What gives? Most people us IE, so this blog probably looks like crap.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Wannabes
The second monthly meeting of the "Tainter Shores & Ridges" bookclub is approaching for my wife. The book up for discussion? "Marley & Me" by John Grogan.
Give me a break.
Some guy writes a book about his Labrador Marley who is billed as the worst dog in the world. The whole World then goes nuts for the book, laughs and cries reading it, and Mr. Grogan makes a mint. I have read a little of the book and it does produce a chuckle or two, but come on...Macy Mae makes Marley look like an altarboy. Like George from Seinfeld, Macy needs to be administered to at a location where she is the sole object of study. Entire TEAMS of dog trainers could make dissertations and careers out of dissecting her antics. Marley is a lightweight by comparison.
I guess you make your money how you can. Hudson's story would have made a more memorable dog book, but that cat is out of the bag now. Additional books on loving and living with labs will just be riding coat tails henceforth, but I at least have a working title and tagline:
Macy & Me:
The story of the dog who has chunks of dogs like Marley in her stool.
Give me a break.
Some guy writes a book about his Labrador Marley who is billed as the worst dog in the world. The whole World then goes nuts for the book, laughs and cries reading it, and Mr. Grogan makes a mint. I have read a little of the book and it does produce a chuckle or two, but come on...Macy Mae makes Marley look like an altarboy. Like George from Seinfeld, Macy needs to be administered to at a location where she is the sole object of study. Entire TEAMS of dog trainers could make dissertations and careers out of dissecting her antics. Marley is a lightweight by comparison.
I guess you make your money how you can. Hudson's story would have made a more memorable dog book, but that cat is out of the bag now. Additional books on loving and living with labs will just be riding coat tails henceforth, but I at least have a working title and tagline:
Macy & Me:
The story of the dog who has chunks of dogs like Marley in her stool.
Changes
I now have a pre-pubescent Blogroll inserted into the site. It only has two links (the only two blogs I really currently visit), but maybe it will be like the commercial where the small company website goes live, and the order count starts pouring in. Remember that one? Maybe I will get linked to at a rate I can't keep up with, and find some good blogs in the process. Very doubtful. I don't have the time to make this blog really shine with excellent content because I have a life...I think...well I'm busy anyway.
Let's see what happens.
Let's see what happens.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Party on Wayne!
I'm back from a 4 day weekend that was probably no different from everyone else's. We basked in the great weather, I fished all four days, we ate a lot of hamburgers and hotdogs, and my wife got shitfaced drunk.
Slipped that one in on ya didn't I.
Yes, my lovely wife cannot handle her alcohol. It is a known fact amongst our close acquaintances, and now the entire Gomer's clientele. There was an impromptu BBQ/Party on Sunday night in our screen porch. At 5PM, John and Lynn brought some friends over that I did not even know, and it was all down hill from there. By 10PM, everyone was belting out choruses of "Sweet Caroline" and other god-awful tunes, much to the annoyance of our elderly neighbor. Copious amounts of UV Blue vodka and wine were consumed...apparently most of it by Jodi...and we all had a grand time with great food. By 10:30 Jodi had passed out; falling directly into my claypot smoker in the process. The vessel reacted just as you would expect clay to do...it shattered into hundreds of pieces. In her defense, everyone was drunk. I was so drunk I did not even know it happened (or I was being cleverly shielded). In any case, while it was way too much alcohol for everyone, it was nice to finally see my hectic wife relax and cut loose for a change.
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